gotta get ridda that gif

i'm tired of opening my blog and having that gif staring at me in the face saying, "you didn't actually do this! you used a free online program!  what a phony you are!"

some things about now:
-i'm sending a really good letter to whitney today.  pics and all.
-last night, CA and i went to IC and watched aftershock.  i cried more than i have in any other movie.  more than reign over me, even.  i know.  i know.
-this semester became very stressful very suddenly.
-i have been feeling so good about being back in america.
-i have not been feeling so good about 16 credits.
-it's great to be around friends and specifically boy friends.  i missed that.
-i straightened my hair this week.  huh?  who am i even?

also, something i've been feeling lately, that is rather old but still profound: love is real.  more real than anything else.  the noun, love.  the verb, love.  people love.  i love.
i don't know what romantic love looks/feels/smells like.  but i know it's beautiful.  and can be eternal.
i know that loving is so very easy. (way easier than hate)
love consumes me sometimes.  to a point where it's a little bit painful.  loving people that are not in your proximity is so hard.  not practically, just emotionally.  my life is spreading across the world.  and by that i mean the people i love are spreading across the world.  i think i'm saying this to help me keep track of the people/places i love and to always keep them in my mind, but maybe do a better job at compartmentalizing so that i can be productive too.

a hard truth: friends come and go.
i've accepted this.  but it still isn't fair.