???

i think i just had a really bad realization. 

first, i skipped all my usual bedtime routines.  i felt sick, and i wanted to sleep.  so i got in bed. 
3 hours later, i still wasn't asleep.  so, i gave up. 
i went out into the living room with a blanket and pillow.  brought my laptop out there too, and watched an episode of bones. 
maybe addiction is a real real thing.  i think that maybe this is real for me. 

bad realization?  can't sleep without bones?  or just can't sleep when i don't do all the bedtime stuff and it's too hot in my house?  and there's drama occupying my mind?  can't decide what to blame.  can't say i didn't try the sleeping thing for 3 solid hours though. 

gotta wake up in 3 and half hours.  damn.