so, i've been packing and cleaning literally all day. i am sorta past the i'm-so-tired-everything-is-funny phase, and moving onto the what-on-earth-have-i-done phase. all day drive tomorrow. and by tomorrow i mean in about 30 minutes.
i'll be home for a while. leaving provo is most definitely bittersweet. i can't stand the thought of leaving lauren here all by her lonesome. hence neither of us have slept tonight. and my dearest chelsey cried in our hug. tears have been integrated into my finals week. pretty much broke down when i had to write about the prompt i didn't study for in art history. but, thats not the point. the point is, i only have control over my life. i get to put my life on hold for a year and a half, and nobody else has to. thats not fair. but its also not fair to miss someone's wedding. that someone you've told about every crush, that someone you planned your crushes and weddings with at 13, that someone who has always always been around and willing to hear you vent, that someone who is in every one of your good memories from the last 8 years. its not fair to miss those kinds of stepping stones in other people's lives. not at all fair.
but LIFE isn't fair. but it is adventurous. and i am about to set off for what is quite possibly the most adventurous thing i've ever done. i look forward to a lot, and i'm nervous about a lot. but i know that i'll have company, and i'll learn more than i possibly could in a year and a half at school. so, here's to the Christmas season and being thankful. thank you for the sweet goodbyes. i have to say, provo will miss me. 18 months isn't THAT long anyway...
2 comments:
Oh pantalones, life definitely isn't fair! If it makes you feel better I can promise you won't miss the birth of our first child while you're gone! Haha how's that for a deal. I know you're probably nervous but great things happen when you're scared. It means you're living outside the box! I love you!
I love you mads - life is an adventure!!
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