alone v lonely

today, i wanted solitude.  so much.  so, after going to my favorite grocery store, buying my favorite fruit, and stopping by my favorite vending machine, i drove onto a "closed road".  i stopped and sat on top of my car. i watched and listened and smelled and thought.  i felt alone and not at all lonely.  i compared my surroundings to lounging on my bed wasting time on the internet or worse, television.  it felt like a breakthrough. 


i recently asked God for some specific blessings and have received pretty immediate responses.  when i was sitting there on my car in the sunlight, the overwhelming emotion i felt was peace.  not a habitual emotion for me.  i felt comfort and success and even a little progress.  it felt epic.  


in an attempt to keep this short, because this feels personal and i have no idea how many people care to read this, i will say:  alone and lonely are very different.  i have passively felt the depths of the latter, but am now choosing the former.  it feels like one of the top 3 choices i've ever made.  


with help from this video, posted recently by a friend, i'm starting a list of things to do alone.  i've decided not to be lonely.  and i'm pretty pleased about that.