a crab

there was this little dog following us around at saint michael's mount. he would run into the water and expect us to follow. he wanted so badly to be chased and played with.

once, he got close enough to pet and we were talking to him. i told him, very light heartedly, to find us a crab. and he was right by this rock and started sniffing. he was finding something and i started to pull the seaweed out of the way and there it was! a little crab! it was so funny and perfect. what a good little dog. he did exactly as he was told.

a few things about my life right now:

i live here with about 60 other people. 3 families. one of two. one of 3 and one of 6. two boys two girls, just like mine. the rest of the people here are 20-year-old girls. sometimes, it feels like hell.

i have a few little groups of friends. and there are many that are dear to me. but i will never live like this again. i am in a room with 13 other people in it. i hear that beloved private room calling my name all the way from provo. i miss having my own space.

i am learning about my happiness and about my sense of identity. i don't define myself by other people. i am made up of my own opinions and attitudes. i feel i am taking ownership of my life. i have claimed parts of my soul. a small part of it has been found in london. but mostly, i found them on jenkin's green in ambleside and on the cliffs in tintagel. i'm hoping to find a few more pieces in scotland and ireland in december.

london is a wonderful city. all the shops close at 6. only restaurants stay open late. i love it because it means people have lives. and people are doing more than shopping. eating is such a better hobby. i can appreciate their love of food and other people. it is greater than their need for material goods.

i like living here. i think this is my unofficial committment to live a fuller life here and take advantage of what is around me. more museums. more adventure. it all starts tonight at the concert with brooklynn and katie.