primary

i teach the valiants at church. today we had the primary program. then i taught the valiants. then we had sharing time. i do not know how you do that every sunday.

i am exhausted.

a crab

there was this little dog following us around at saint michael's mount. he would run into the water and expect us to follow. he wanted so badly to be chased and played with.

once, he got close enough to pet and we were talking to him. i told him, very light heartedly, to find us a crab. and he was right by this rock and started sniffing. he was finding something and i started to pull the seaweed out of the way and there it was! a little crab! it was so funny and perfect. what a good little dog. he did exactly as he was told.

a few things about my life right now:

i live here with about 60 other people. 3 families. one of two. one of 3 and one of 6. two boys two girls, just like mine. the rest of the people here are 20-year-old girls. sometimes, it feels like hell.

i have a few little groups of friends. and there are many that are dear to me. but i will never live like this again. i am in a room with 13 other people in it. i hear that beloved private room calling my name all the way from provo. i miss having my own space.

i am learning about my happiness and about my sense of identity. i don't define myself by other people. i am made up of my own opinions and attitudes. i feel i am taking ownership of my life. i have claimed parts of my soul. a small part of it has been found in london. but mostly, i found them on jenkin's green in ambleside and on the cliffs in tintagel. i'm hoping to find a few more pieces in scotland and ireland in december.

london is a wonderful city. all the shops close at 6. only restaurants stay open late. i love it because it means people have lives. and people are doing more than shopping. eating is such a better hobby. i can appreciate their love of food and other people. it is greater than their need for material goods.

i like living here. i think this is my unofficial committment to live a fuller life here and take advantage of what is around me. more museums. more adventure. it all starts tonight at the concert with brooklynn and katie.

in loving memory

warren q mcneil

1 april 1929 to 12 october 2011

is this not a totally studly pic of my grandpa? he passed away last week. i know he is in a more comfortable place and i'm glad his suffering is done. emphysema isn't fun for anyone.

also, i'm love love this photo of my grandparents. i think it is so beautiful. can't wait to see g-ma darlene at christmas.

southern tour

our southern tour consisted of bath, glastonbury, hiking in tintagel and penzance, st. michaels mount, salisbury, stonehenge and stourhead gardens. oh, and jane austen's house, where i bought mansfield park. my favorite one.

me, tourist version, at the roman baths. ps- the water is real warm. also very green, as you can see.

lisa, ashley and me at the roman baths. friends forever.

bath abbey. i just love gothic architecture.

brooklynn and i got lost. then we found this vast garden. quaint and perfect.

pensive ash.

wild blackberries roam free in england. absolutely everywhere. i ate at least two handfuls of them. and i definitely got really nervous about getting the runs real bad. but i couldn't help myself. and luckily, i didn't.

kinsey and me at merlin's cave.

laura and emily sitting on a cliff. t-a-l-k-i-n-g.

hostel in salisbury. we went to the cathedral at night. and it was really super beautiful. i missed taking pictures at st. michaels mount. but they mostly would have been of catching crabs and playing with someone else's dog. it was great fun. i even put a starfish on my forehead.

i've had a hard time figuring out if i like garden's or not. we have been talking very philosophically about them and whether or not they are art. john and peter brought up the word sublime while we were in tintagel... and i think it sort of tainted me. i had this perfection in my mind, this sublime depiction of cliffs and humidity, and then we went to stourhead. and it just felt silly. then i realized i was just thinking too hard and i tried to enjoy the constructed beauty of the place.

widescreen shot at stourhead gardens. pretty beautiful.

friends at stonehenge. we took our sweet time.

there's stonehenge! and natalie.

oh, tony. our beloved coach driver. "great road, eh?"

conclusion: i still love my life, a lot. going home to london is a dream. i will try to be better at taking pics and posting them. also, on halloween... i'm gonna be in paris... shyeah.

buddy

this is Buddy, also known as Ax. sometimes we go outside together.

sometimes we draw in my notebook.

sometimes i read books to him outloud in the park.

he's good at making friends.

other times we sit in the parlor and just have a good time.

his heart is a locket.

feed the birds

climbed to the top of saint paul's cathedral. it was magical. i have pictures of the view. but this captures the moment better.

for honeybush

dear dearie, i'm sorry i haven't printed these and sent you a real piece of mail. but these pictures were taken with you in mind. enjoy.

love,

me

oh cambridge

subtle nuance is redundant. sorry, intellectual world. had to look up how to spell "intellectual".

oh beautiful cambridge.

river cam

one of the many gorgeous colleges at cambridge. its name is escaping me.

punting. best. with laurie and laura.

our dishy punting guide, omar.

"i bet you a million pounds you all make blogs."

elsa. cutest cutest baby. she's the daughter of one of our program directors.

i really am enjoying myself. sometimes i feel a lot older than some of the girls here. it's helping me understand how much life experience i do, actually, have. i feel confident here. i am making the effort to have time to myself because 45 girls this age is making me crazy. i'm beginning to hermit some times of the day, but i still feel productive. and i'm still at south bank every weekend with friends. making friends, keeping friends. balancing it all out in this historic city. i think i'm building a motto. i'll post it when it's finished.