let me tell you 'bout my week...

on monday, i was at training for a job in outdoor therapy in AZ.  tuesday i had a day off and i played with one great two year-old.  wednesday i was at the office ready and prepped for eight days in the wilderness.  really though, pumped and ready.  thursday i drove to LA area.  friday to Fresno.  and today, home to be with my lovely parents.  also, i sealed the deal on going to Ecuador for a month, leaving in three weeks.

the ANASAZI Foundation has been on my mind for months.  i talked to lots of people about it and got lots of feedback and encouragement.  i felt really excited about getting my own experience as a TrailWalker and being with people who need my help, and learning lots of really cool skills involving sticks and machetes.  lots of machetes.  i never felt like i got a solid feeling on whether or not i should be there, but i packed up and moved down to Mesa, AZ anyway.

i loved every moment of training.  i trained with 19 of the most wonderful people.  i'm in a moment of my life where i crave connection and recently hit a wind of it at the tail end of winter semester.  at ANASAZI, i found it readily and abundantly.  so many incredible people with incredible things to offer the world.  i learned and studied and grew.  for two and a half weeks i was there training.  wednesday, when i wasn't on the board, i was really disappointed, but at peace.

i thought about my family in CA the whole time i was in AZ and couldn't deny the awakening i had the day i was supposed to be on the trail.  Sunshine and i prayed, and the tears and confirmations of where i needed to be hit us both.  it's unfair that i don't get to be there this summer.  i really really wanted it.  but i knew it would be wrong for me to stay.  that was wednesday.

friday afternoon i caught wind that the Humanitarian Experience for Youth was looking for a leader in Ecuador from late June to late July.  i called and got more information.  that was yesterday.

today, i agreed to help in Ecuador, and on monday i will have my flight itinerary.  i leave in three and a half weeks.

so that is what's happening with me this week.  i can't understand any of it.  i said goodbye to the collegiate phase of life three weeks ago.  leaving anasazi was hard to do.  but the Anasazi Way penetrated my heart and will always walk with me.  i look forward to going back and staying in touch.  i really don't want to be cheesy, but i am honestly not making any decisions here.  i feel like i'm following and being tossed and guided.  i don't regret anything.  adventure is happening.  i don't know what i'm doing.  not at all.  but it feels great.