tired of a common feeling

you know how you have those days where you just sort of feel worthless? i think i've been having too many of those. i really miss my bf lauren and its hard to feel like i have any friends as good as her. she always made me feel funny and smart and worth her time. i truly don't mean to be making a cry for help or pity or anything. i'm just tired of not saying how i feel.

at times i feel like i'm not allowed to feel bad or sad or insecure. like i just shouldn't talk about it if thats how i really feel. its probably just me thinking/feeling that way, but its real. i feel like, if what i'm feeling isn't happy and exciting, its not worth sharing. not worth bringing someone else down. but then i don't end up getting anything out, and i'm just mopey all the time, which i HATE. i don't like it when other people are mopey, and i seriously don't like being the mopey one. i miss having that person around who always validated me and always made me feel worth while. crying doesn't really make anything better. so really its just getting out and creating friendships that didn't exist before. i guess i should just be grateful for a friend like lauren. so, heres to you, lauren. and to my two other besties who moved away.