on monday, i was at training for a job in outdoor therapy in AZ. tuesday i had a day off and i played with one great two year-old. wednesday i was at the office ready and prepped for eight days in the wilderness. really though, pumped and ready. thursday i drove to LA area. friday to Fresno. and today, home to be with my lovely parents. also, i sealed the deal on going to Ecuador for a month, leaving in three weeks.
the ANASAZI Foundation has been on my mind for months. i talked to lots of people about it and got lots of feedback and encouragement. i felt really excited about getting my own experience as a TrailWalker and being with people who need my help, and learning lots of really cool skills involving sticks and machetes. lots of machetes. i never felt like i got a solid feeling on whether or not i should be there, but i packed up and moved down to Mesa, AZ anyway.
i loved every moment of training. i trained with 19 of the most wonderful people. i'm in a moment of my life where i crave connection and recently hit a wind of it at the tail end of winter semester. at ANASAZI, i found it readily and abundantly. so many incredible people with incredible things to offer the world. i learned and studied and grew. for two and a half weeks i was there training. wednesday, when i wasn't on the board, i was really disappointed, but at peace.
i thought about my family in CA the whole time i was in AZ and couldn't deny the awakening i had the day i was supposed to be on the trail. Sunshine and i prayed, and the tears and confirmations of where i needed to be hit us both. it's unfair that i don't get to be there this summer. i really really wanted it. but i knew it would be wrong for me to stay. that was wednesday.
friday afternoon i caught wind that the Humanitarian Experience for Youth was looking for a leader in Ecuador from late June to late July. i called and got more information. that was yesterday.
today, i agreed to help in Ecuador, and on monday i will have my flight itinerary. i leave in three and a half weeks.
so that is what's happening with me this week. i can't understand any of it. i said goodbye to the collegiate phase of life three weeks ago. leaving anasazi was hard to do. but the Anasazi Way penetrated my heart and will always walk with me. i look forward to going back and staying in touch. i really don't want to be cheesy, but i am honestly not making any decisions here. i feel like i'm following and being tossed and guided. i don't regret anything. adventure is happening. i don't know what i'm doing. not at all. but it feels great.
