-mads-

therapy

2012-02-06T00:01:00.002-05:00

today i made james beard's french style bread.
then i went to sacrament meeting only.
then i made french onion soup with E.
then i washed (all) the dishes.
then i made cookies.

i think cooking is a serious outlet for me. starting now.

frantic and flattered

2012-02-03T00:09:00.001-05:00

today, i was walking, pretty fast. because i have had butterflies in my stomach all day. just nerves. i'm not going to explain. but i was feeling slightly frantic.

i could feel someone walking behind me, and i could hear them make a tiny coughing/clearing throat sound. and then they spoke. a young man. well dressed. accessorized. he said, "would you mind if i took a photo of you for a style blog?"

i said sure as a i took a half step back and just sort of looked at him. he snapped his photo and put his camera down. i asked him his name, i told him mine. short pause... "have a good day!" i said. then i started walking again.

seriously?

it was funny and awkward. but i felt so flattered. i did actually construct the outfit i wore today. and i felt good about it. got a lot of compliments. i'll post the pic when he does. ps- i had to ask around and fb stalk to find out the blog. no one thought it necessary to mention when the photo was taken. (???)

anyway. a good day. for you, ALH. just like you asked.

poetry and criticism

2012-01-31T22:49:00.004-05:00

this article is so good.

finally feel like i'm learning how to be an artist.

???

2012-01-27T06:02:00.002-05:00

i think i just had a really bad realization.

first, i skipped all my usual bedtime routines. i felt sick, and i wanted to sleep. so i got in bed.
3 hours later, i still wasn't asleep. so, i gave up.
i went out into the living room with a blanket and pillow. brought my laptop out there too, and watched an episode of bones.
maybe addiction is a real real thing. i think that maybe this is real for me.

bad realization? can't sleep without bones? or just can't sleep when i don't do all the bedtime stuff and it's too hot in my house? and there's drama occupying my mind? can't decide what to blame. can't say i didn't try the sleeping thing for 3 solid hours though.

gotta wake up in 3 and half hours. damn.

gotta get ridda that gif

2012-01-14T15:22:00.000-05:00

i'm tired of opening my blog and having that gif staring at me in the face saying, "you didn't actually do this! you used a free online program! what a phony you are!"

some things about now:
-i'm sending a really good letter to whitney today. pics and all.
-last night, CA and i went to IC and watched aftershock. i cried more than i have in any other movie. more than reign over me, even. i know. i know.
-this semester became very stressful very suddenly.
-i have been feeling so good about being back in america.
-i have not been feeling so good about 16 credits.
-it's great to be around friends and specifically boy friends. i missed that.
-i straightened my hair this week. huh? who am i even?

also, something i've been feeling lately, that is rather old but still profound: love is real. more real than anything else. the noun, love. the verb, love. people love. i love.
i don't know what romantic love looks/feels/smells like. but i know it's beautiful. and can be eternal.
i know that loving is so very easy. (way easier than hate)
love consumes me sometimes. to a point where it's a little bit painful. loving people that are not in your proximity is so hard. not practically, just emotionally. my life is spreading across the world. and by that i mean the people i love are spreading across the world. i think i'm saying this to help me keep track of the people/places i love and to always keep them in my mind, but maybe do a better job at compartmentalizing so that i can be productive too.

a hard truth: friends come and go.
i've accepted this. but it still isn't fair.

fun w/ E

2012-01-12T15:31:00.002-05:00

just made this.

ezpz

2012-01-10T23:02:00.001-05:00

so, i just made a new blog on wordpress for an assignment. i gotta say, it was draining. i appreciate blogger and all it's google related simplicity. thank you google for being true and best.

birthday

2012-01-09T02:44:00.000-05:00

i woke up to my dear friend's voice. asking if she woke me up. to my confirmation she giggled and rejoiced that she could be the first to wish me a happy birthday. then she promptly told me to sleep once again. so i did.

then i woke up in plenty of time to get ready. i had a lot of time to get ready. which is good, my hair needed attention. but it worked itself out quickly. and i wore my prettiest dress. and the hardest decision i made today was which shoes to wear. turns out my grey flats aren't so versatile.

church is in the wilk. a mere 7 minute walk from my house. glory.

sacrament meeting was great. fast sunday. i was able to bear my testimony of the Gospel, it's truth and the ability we have to prove our knowledge and religion through the Book of Mormon. Jesus Christ is real and living. He is my Savior.

instead of sunday school, i jetted to the provo temple and saw my deariest of dears for one half hour. it was wonderful.

i love her.

then back for relief society. then home to change clothes. i talked to the fam for a bit on the phone. and then it was off to "second sunday" dinner. lovely pasta with cousins and friends.

talked to the older bro on the way out of there. and headed right to my little birthday get together. which turned out not to be so little. the place was packed. and i felt so so so loved. so many of my provo friends. and just so many hugs. after the party died, my brilliant friend started a compliment circle. a compilation of 10 friends each took a turn saying what they liked about me and some stated their favorite memories. it was...maybe the best gift i've gotten. it was really so lovely.

thank you to all who contributed to this birthday. here i come 2012. no regrets. the year of spiritual progression and dental hygiene. 24 is going to be a great age.

bones!

2012-01-05T03:24:00.003-05:00

i just watched two episodes of bones. on my bed. with my laptop. i couldn't be more content.

19 december 2011

2011-12-19T14:56:00.001-05:00

those are my parents, and my oldest brother.
today, my parents have been married 33 years. this is a post in honor of their honor and their trust and love. they are so open and so loving to their children and everyone their children know. they open their arms to those in need and i love that about them.

also, my brother will be a father in a matter of weeks. i felt the little one kick yesterday. so crazy alien and so crazy cool. props to the sister-in-law who's making that baby. she is doing well and looking so cute.

pics of europe when i can. stupid laptop is still broken.

home is here

2011-12-15T10:18:00.004-05:00

you know that song? by edward sharp and the magnetic zeros? well, i don't have one of those people in my life, where home is with them. so, home is here. in california. and provo. and now london. my home is lots of places. i feel like sometimes i throw the word around. but really. home, as in america, is great. i love it here. the toilets are normal, the sinks have one faucet(it's called a faucet), my fam is here and my bed has missed me.

there is a lot of evidence on facebook right now that all my london friends miss it there. all the ridiculous sleepovers and the readings and the nights in south bank. i miss those too. but right now, i feel totally and completely content where i am. california. it's a wonderful place.

soon to be at this girl's wedding and i am ecstatic at seeing her home town and being with her family again. it's gonna be great.

dublin

2011-12-11T12:03:00.002-05:00

yesterday ashley and i walked around, saw the book of kells(way cool) and fell asleep in the student center at trinity college. ate at busy bean cafe and shopped. had dinner at a lovely little restaurant. early this morning, she left.

i found the church building on my own this morning and i am SO PROUD of myself. guidance and answers to prayer come when you really need them. wowza. i got a tad lost, but found my way shortly. church was excellent. and after, i was invited to stay for a minor feast of manna. and tonight, there is a broadcast of the Christmas devo i'm sure you all saw last week.

i am loving this. two days of traveling, here i come. i leave tomorrow night.

glasgow

2011-12-09T16:56:00.001-05:00

when i get home, i can post photos. but hanging out here with jade and bethany and ashley is so much fun.

we got indian food, and we went to kelvingrove art gallery and museum. also, we went to the people's palace. we stopped by the glasgow school of art, as well. a fun day.

to dublin early tomorrow.

see yous.

leaving london

2011-12-06T17:02:00.002-05:00

today i left london.
today i rode on a coach for over 5 hours.
today i walked down bayswater and went into waterstone's for the last time in a long while.
today i felt sad.
today i felt glad.
today i almost cried.
today i am finally sitting on a couch and relaxing with only two people in my company.
today is an okay day.

update

2011-11-28T04:17:00.002-05:00

last week we went to stratford-upon-avon and then to oxford. i really should write more about it. i will. but the sad news is my computer got stepped on. the screen is broke. so, no more pics. maybe i can find some way to get them on here, but don't expect anything from me. i'm still grieving.

seriously?

2011-11-17T17:32:00.004-05:00

this is my view of hyde park walking home from the v&a after a few hours spent on the 6th floor[full of ceramics] and a little stop by the science museum.

is this really my life? seriously? i love it.

pictures of brighton

2011-11-17T16:52:00.003-05:00

these pictures are the only ones i have of brighton. this day we went to greyhound stadium and watched 12 or 13 races. oh it was only about 4 hours. it was a great 4 hours. so relaxing. why didn't i take pictures of the dogs? don't ask me. i'm a fool.

that's hot cocoa in my hand. i think laura has candy.

our books. baha. even though bryn was trying really hard, the dog she picked to win lost. every time. literally. came in last place. it was hilarious. natalie thought so.

gummy lips.

gummy gums.

just really funny to me. these signs were at every entrance to the beach. had to snap a pic.

brighton

2011-11-12T15:14:00.002-05:00

i just came back from brighton. it was wonderful.

i read a book in waterstone's bookstore. the whole book. in 3 hours. it felt so good.

our hostel was a little gross. and there were soooooo many people in that room. it was muggy.

the beach was beautiful. i ate a burger and chips and a soft drink for 4 pounds. brilliant. also, i saw the adventures of tin tin in 3-d and it was so good!

great weekend.

pictures maybe?

real feelings

2011-11-08T11:21:00.003-05:00

today we went to see the gerhard richter show at the tate modern. i wasn't expecting to enjoy it, to be honest. the only work i had seen of his was stuff i wasn't really impressed with. so, i just wasn't expecting to love it.

it was prefaced by a really enjoyable walk with brooklynn. we talked about real things and shared real friend details about our lives. boys and families and future and problem solving and decision making. it was just real. and lovely.

so, we arrived at the tate and got tickets for the exhibition and went in. he is still alive and still painting. there were 13 different rooms with paintings and installations. there were two abstractions of lions that began the effect. the next room had richter's first attempts at using a squeegee to paint and i was in awe. i stared and i thought. for the very first time in my life, i was inspired to paint. i feel empowered by these paintings. and i can truthfully say that i have not been affected by paintings this way before. i'm not even sure i really love all of richter's work, but the idea of his lifetime of work, his continuation of work, his exploration and his dedication to art and painting and life, is inspiring to me. so inspiring that i will paint tonight. paint and use a lot of paint, and take risks and use colors i may or may not be comfortable with. i feel hopeful about finding a niche and living with a passion for the rest of my life. this may not make a ton of sense to someone not engaged with art every day, but this is a breakthrough for me.

i feel so good.

i've got just over a month left in europe and i am doing my best to continue this fake dream life i'm living. i have so much to see and do. i am so happy here. and i know that i will come back to europe. i feel the fire for seeing the world and i feel very hopeful about loving every inch of it. i can't wait.

back to real life in january. not going to think about it.

another note: i think it's really the fall leaves that make thanksgiving so full of gratitude and love. the colors of thanksgiving are the best of all the colors. and i am grateful for color, and for the season that has claim over the best ones.

paris

2011-11-05T17:45:00.008-04:00

i went to the: tour eiffel.

arc de triomphe.

champs e'lysee.

sacre coeur

saw a man do impossible things with a soccer ball.

found the moulin rouge, well, laurie found it, actually.

visited oscar wilde's grave. and was devastated to find it wrapped up to be cleaned... i was very upset.

but got over it slightly when i saw chopin's grave.

ate a creme broulee flavored macaron and it was INSANE. got it at the galeries de lafayette.

saw the round about of round abouts. this is the top of the arc de triomphe.

went to the louvre.

saw notre dame.

sat by the seine on the most beautiful fall day with brooklynn and ashley and laurie.

not pictured: visiting the musee rodin, musee d'orsay, the orangerie, the quai branly museum, the pompidou, the boat tour, and my entire trip to versaille. oh, and the 7 crepes i ate. 5 days? yeah... yeah.

back from paris

2011-11-05T06:30:00.005-04:00

paris is where it's at. i have really really enjoyed my time in london so far, but paris.... that is a real place. wow. a furious 5 days and i feel exhausted but fine. i did so much. i'll post pictures real soon.

just sittin by the seine, watching the leaves fall. it was a beautiful week.

primary

2011-10-23T14:37:00.002-04:00

i teach the valiants at church. today we had the primary program. then i taught the valiants. then we had sharing time. i do not know how you do that every sunday.

i am exhausted.

a crab

2011-10-20T04:07:00.002-04:00

there was this little dog following us around at saint michael's mount. he would run into the water and expect us to follow. he wanted so badly to be chased and played with.

once, he got close enough to pet and we were talking to him. i told him, very light heartedly, to find us a crab. and he was right by this rock and started sniffing. he was finding something and i started to pull the seaweed out of the way and there it was! a little crab! it was so funny and perfect. what a good little dog. he did exactly as he was told.

a few things about my life right now:

i live here with about 60 other people. 3 families. one of two. one of 3 and one of 6. two boys two girls, just like mine. the rest of the people here are 20-year-old girls. sometimes, it feels like hell.

i have a few little groups of friends. and there are many that are dear to me. but i will never live like this again. i am in a room with 13 other people in it. i hear that beloved private room calling my name all the way from provo. i miss having my own space.

i am learning about my happiness and about my sense of identity. i don't define myself by other people. i am made up of my own opinions and attitudes. i feel i am taking ownership of my life. i have claimed parts of my soul. a small part of it has been found in london. but mostly, i found them on jenkin's green in ambleside and on the cliffs in tintagel. i'm hoping to find a few more pieces in scotland and ireland in december.

london is a wonderful city. all the shops close at 6. only restaurants stay open late. i love it because it means people have lives. and people are doing more than shopping. eating is such a better hobby. i can appreciate their love of food and other people. it is greater than their need for material goods.

i like living here. i think this is my unofficial committment to live a fuller life here and take advantage of what is around me. more museums. more adventure. it all starts tonight at the concert with brooklynn and katie.

in loving memory

2011-10-19T13:51:00.002-04:00

warren q mcneil

1 april 1929 to 12 october 2011

is this not a totally studly pic of my grandpa? he passed away last week. i know he is in a more comfortable place and i'm glad his suffering is done. emphysema isn't fun for anyone.

also, i'm love love this photo of my grandparents. i think it is so beautiful. can't wait to see g-ma darlene at christmas.

southern tour

2011-10-18T07:15:00.005-04:00

our southern tour consisted of bath, glastonbury, hiking in tintagel and penzance, st. michaels mount, salisbury, stonehenge and stourhead gardens. oh, and jane austen's house, where i bought mansfield park. my favorite one.

me, tourist version, at the roman baths. ps- the water is real warm. also very green, as you can see.

lisa, ashley and me at the roman baths. friends forever.

bath abbey. i just love gothic architecture.

brooklynn and i got lost. then we found this vast garden. quaint and perfect.

pensive ash.

wild blackberries roam free in england. absolutely everywhere. i ate at least two handfuls of them. and i definitely got really nervous about getting the runs real bad. but i couldn't help myself. and luckily, i didn't.

kinsey and me at merlin's cave.

laura and emily sitting on a cliff. t-a-l-k-i-n-g.

hostel in salisbury. we went to the cathedral at night. and it was really super beautiful. i missed taking pictures at st. michaels mount. but they mostly would have been of catching crabs and playing with someone else's dog. it was great fun. i even put a starfish on my forehead.

i've had a hard time figuring out if i like garden's or not. we have been talking very philosophically about them and whether or not they are art. john and peter brought up the word sublime while we were in tintagel... and i think it sort of tainted me. i had this perfection in my mind, this sublime depiction of cliffs and humidity, and then we went to stourhead. and it just felt silly. then i realized i was just thinking too hard and i tried to enjoy the constructed beauty of the place.

widescreen shot at stourhead gardens. pretty beautiful.

friends at stonehenge. we took our sweet time.

there's stonehenge! and natalie.

oh, tony. our beloved coach driver. "great road, eh?"

conclusion: i still love my life, a lot. going home to london is a dream. i will try to be better at taking pics and posting them. also, on halloween... i'm gonna be in paris... shyeah.

buddy

2011-10-18T06:45:00.004-04:00

this is Buddy, also known as Ax. sometimes we go outside together.

sometimes we draw in my notebook.

sometimes i read books to him outloud in the park.

he's good at making friends.

other times we sit in the parlor and just have a good time.

his heart is a locket.

feed the birds

2011-10-02T19:15:00.004-04:00

climbed to the top of saint paul's cathedral. it was magical. i have pictures of the view. but this captures the moment better.

for honeybush

2011-10-02T09:40:00.001-04:00

dear dearie, i'm sorry i haven't printed these and sent you a real piece of mail. but these pictures were taken with you in mind. enjoy.

love,

oh cambridge

2011-10-02T08:43:00.005-04:00

subtle nuance is redundant. sorry, intellectual world. had to look up how to spell "intellectual".

oh beautiful cambridge.

river cam

one of the many gorgeous colleges at cambridge. its name is escaping me.

punting. best. with laurie and laura.

our dishy punting guide, omar.

"i bet you a million pounds you all make blogs."

elsa. cutest cutest baby. she's the daughter of one of our program directors.

i really am enjoying myself. sometimes i feel a lot older than some of the girls here. it's helping me understand how much life experience i do, actually, have. i feel confident here. i am making the effort to have time to myself because 45 girls this age is making me crazy. i'm beginning to hermit some times of the day, but i still feel productive. and i'm still at south bank every weekend with friends. making friends, keeping friends. balancing it all out in this historic city. i think i'm building a motto. i'll post it when it's finished.

my subtle nuances

2011-09-28T19:45:00.003-04:00

these are a few things i've pinpointed while living in london. don't feel obligated to read them.

something that makes me feel good about myself:

-being on googchat and having someone chat me.

-being on googchat and seeing two people are typing something to me at the same time.

i prefer staircases where i can take them two at a time. too steep is too hard.

i like cold apples better than room temp apples. i like crisp apples better than cold apples. i like all peaches better than all apples.

i prefer smaller groups of people. 2-5 people total is ideal.

though i do not always detest crowds.

i prefer cream to broth.

i don't put sugar in my tea.

i like knowing/planning what i'm going to eat. it makes me feel like i have some control.

sometimes i like just toast and butter. no jam or nothin. other times i like cinnamon-sugar on it.

i like taking care of people. and i feel good at it.

i don't often actually listen to my body when it tells me to sleep. hence, a blog post right now. ah, well.

sitting at my window in my favourite dress

2011-09-25T08:00:00.003-04:00

european spelling. its the new thing.

i finally figured out where my blasted photos go when i save them on my e-cam.

a new ring.

i am recently very grateful for internet. and all of it's magnificent capabilities. i watched two talks from the relief society broadcast that happened while i was fast asleep. so far, it's wonderful. who knows when the internet will be working well enough for me to finish it.

also, i am getting very excited for two things:

-find out whether i get a niece or a nephew in a matter of days.

-being with my whole family. together. all of us, at once. it will be loud and busy and magical.

i officially have the travel bug

2011-09-22T11:47:00.005-04:00

well, here i am. last week we went on a little excursion to the north. we went to hadrian's wall, and stayed in york. then went to edinburgh for two nights and stayed to see the beautiful city. i had a blast there. somehow, it's more accessible than any other city. maybe i'll do another post of some pirated photos, but for now, you're just getting what i have now.

after edinburgh, we went to the lake district. stayed in ambleside. laurie had a birthday and it was the perfect day. hiking, ambleing and eating. and birthday wishing. lots of sheep. we were there for two days as well and we hiked to wordsworth's houses and to ruskin's. i love this country so much. i filled my belly with lots of apples, ciabatta and cranberry wensleydale. yum yum. here you go:

at hadrian's wall.

i had a moment with this tree at Chatsworth.

just a cool bathroom at the scottish national gallery of modern art.

kissing the elephant outside the elephant house, where jkr wrote the hp series.

extremely happy and alone in my room at our last stop of the week. a bed and breakfast.

mostly because of my view.

i slipped first thing on our last day of hiking. lots of fun mud.

i walked on water at ruskin's house. ha!

this was actually just the other day at Kew Gardens. really phenomenal place.

as you can see, my jacket is getting lots of use and it is becoming more and more useless. maybe a little gortex for christmas is in order??

closet under the stairs

2011-09-10T11:34:00.002-04:00

this is my studio space. it is kind of great. there are only paintings out in these photos. but my ceramic work is taking off. i'm not quite sure how to manage all the time away though. i'll need some great ideas to keep them plastic.
in front of the tower of london. an interesting place to be sure.
this is the grand entrance to the victoria & albert museum. blown glass against this super rich old interior. interesting to me. i'll be there tomorrow. i love that place.

things are going well. we're off to scotland first thing monday morning. i walked with L from covent garden to the center today. just over 3 miles. it felt good. and we walked right down oxford where all the great shops are. too many great shops.

tonight is the thames festival. we'll see how that goes. i'm excited though!

love this place. love my life.

iglesia

2011-09-04T13:58:00.002-04:00

i went to church in spanish today. it was wonderful.

right after i went to the v&a for a few hours.

all by myself.

all day.

in london.

i had the best day.

adventure day

2011-09-02T17:58:00.002-04:00

today, instead of being assigned groups and being asked to follow the same route as everyone else in our crew, we got to pick our own groups and were given suggestions. new bestie laurie and i took our liberties. but we ended up by the tate britain, parliament and regent's park. it was lovely.

parliament. so ornate and beautiful to me.

so happy. finally eating at a quaint cafe in camden.
my delicious falafel wrap with house made hot sauce.
obligatory. now its out of the way. and the best thing? i don't think anyone saw me take this picture.

i love city living. i have always wanted to live in a city. i just never thought my first would be on a different continent.

to everyone

2011-09-02T17:51:00.000-04:00

south bank of the river thames.

made it

2011-08-30T07:19:00.002-04:00

this picture was just after a 4 hour, then 7 hour flight; half hour taxi drive; 10 minute figure-out-where-we-are-and-why-we're-not-where-we're-supposed-to-be; and a 20 minute walk to where we really were supposed to be. gotta love new places.

how?

2011-08-29T02:21:00.002-04:00

i said to myself, one half of an hour ago, that i would only work for another hour. just enough time to be productive and watch S1:E4 - the man in the bear. (note: addiction is real)

i have half a page to write for homework. i have homework again.

almost all the way done packing. flight leaves in the morning. am i living a real life???

i love candids

2011-08-16T12:30:00.002-04:00

i really love this. i really love most candid photos. but i really love this. and i really love this woman. she is a good woman. and i admire her. not goodbye forever. but goodbye to the way things used to be. which is always harder than saying to goodbye to a real person. i've sort of been singing this song to myself for a while. it seems fitting. minus the part about leaving your past behind.

i like my past. its a good past. i don't want to forget it. but i'm determined not to re-live it.

last night i read some old journal entries, and i wrote a new journal entry. i'm starting something new. i'm going to write the specific things i learn from people in my journal. that way i know exactly why they are important to me. it may even help me be bold and say them out loud.

photo countdown

2011-08-12T18:32:00.004-04:00

this happens again in a week. (minus the dude)

maybe not quite this(but maybe) happens again in a week and a day.

at this table with a couple of these people in 11 days.

and i end up here in precisely 18 days. with one day of travel. so i'm counting 17.

my life is great. great great.

ps- my program directors asked me about my spanish abilities. maybe i'll get assigned to a spanish unit in london. i'm kind of excited.

provo summer

2011-08-05T19:11:00.002-04:00

mine ends in two weeks.

time to live it up before i really REALLY live it up in 24 days.

time to get my passport ready.

photo update

2011-07-25T13:25:00.005-04:00

so i'm aware that most people that read this can see these pictures on the fb. however, i needed to document the summer for myself because i've been avoiding my dumb camera. anyone with a left over point-and-shoot, feel free to donate to my cause.

from the beginning of summer to present:

bestie K and i making the spiral jetty at the dinosaur museum. best.

at a wedding for somebody i don't know. but it was fun to be with my friends. and it was beautiful. they were filthy dirty rich. i'm not even mentioning the tucanos catering.

hiking with the roomies. found a great little rock to settle on up the canyon a bit. it was a good day.

barbeque pre-4th of july. we didn't know what to do with our hands.

funnel cake with GC and long lost roomie R. fun. very fun.

two of my very favorite (vavorite) things. elote and being with wsb.

jumping off the bridge on the 4th of july. i was so proud of myself.

some besties. just before the best fireworks.

cousins in driggs, ID. beautiful weekend.

it's been a great summer so far.

a few things

2011-07-15T13:05:00.003-04:00

1- i hate that i can't save photos off fb anymore. they get all weird and save a butt-ton of pictures to your downloads file. correct me if i'm wrong.

2- i just had this thought, "in a few years, when all these people are really grown up and we don't live in the same place anymore, we'll be able to read blogs, and re-connect. or just remember the good ol' times." it was a good thought.

3- hair by lady gaga is truly one of my favorite songs right now.

3.5- i know that summertime is usually filled with short hair and sunshine, but i am loving getting-longer curls. it feels the most summery to me.

4- europe countdown: [not counting today] 45 days.

5- the plan is almost set in stone to have a teeny pre-europe adventure in chicago and madison. look out midwest, you thought you'd miss me this year.

6- temples are wonderful places. still riding a high from wednesday eve.

7- 3:15am showing of HP7 P2 last night. two things about it: worth it and never again.

8- i don't actually count 8 things as a few. it goes like this in my brain: one(1), a couple(2), a few(3-4), a handful(5-6), several(7-unknown). after 7 it gets confusing for everybody, so i avoid counting that high. speaking of counting...

9- i really love summer activities. number one being lawn/porch sitting.

10- going to jackson hole this weekend. i'll get to see my mom's bro's fam, which is the last on that side i have to see post-mish.

11- humans live saga to saga. my next comes march 23,2012. hunger games.

that is all.

unintentional hiatus

2011-07-11T11:27:00.002-04:00

real and honest friends seem hard to come by for a lot of people. [here is where i say, "but not i." but i won't, because that isn't the point.] they just sort of happen without thinking about it. no need for a proposal, or asking someone to meet specific needs. friendship just happens. just exists. and more often than i think.

as the summer lives on, i have met and appreciated so many people. not just personalities, or traits. but people. real people. people who are in, no longer in, or not yet in, my life. i'm losing my sense of perfection and its associated, romantic expectation. a person is a person, and shouldn't be expected to be more. learning to feel this with my soul has helped me accept reality. that life is real and honest, and thereby allows people to be so.

now, i don't mean life is honest in a sense that lies never happen, but that lies are real, and i have to learn to deal with them. reality is no longer something i must face, but something i already live in. reality is learning the hard way, even though people my elder offer help and advice. reality is learning the hard way because its the easiest way to learn. reality is experience. and adventure.

my innate sense of worry has given way to my growing sense of adventure lately. i've jumped off bridges. spent every moment possible outside. i have many mosquito bites. [not that that is an indicator of adventurism, but maybe. or maybe just stupidity.] but more than in my activities, my exploration has branched to my relationships. i am in new and exciting friendships. i am in old and comfortable friendships. i am learning from and about these friends. these friends may, or maybe not, be learning from and about me. surprisingly enough, it has taken me 23 and a half years to figure out the idea of a two-way street.

i feel good. i feel strong. i feel lovable and confident. i feel full of faith. i feel uncertain and uncomfortable. i feel nervous. i feel adventurous.

i like my life. i like my friends. i feel the word "like" is underused. there is too much to live for. i'm learning to pace myself and let the happenings come as they will.

i haven't got it all figured out, but i'm getting it in pieces and liking it. new is almost always hard, but almost always good. here is to new everything. and letting new be old one day.

update

2011-06-09T20:28:00.004-04:00

maybe i have been avoiding this. i'm not super sure why. all i know is that whenever i think to type in my url, i don't.

here's the 411-

-i've been very happy in my new house with CA and RB.

-i've just been working at the leebrary and its going well. i may or may not be getting a second job there. 40 hour work week, here i come!

-i'm riding my bike every where and i love it.

-for some reason, i just want to make and eat these.

-i'm going to moab this weekend and i cannot wait.

-maybe i'm getting a new phone. it kind of feels like a hair cut. i don't want to get rid of what i have, but it just sort of feels like the right time to make a change. so that's exciting.

-i might have my own room for the summer term.

all great things.

too too funny

2011-05-19T12:46:00.002-04:00

two wonderful brothers

2011-05-16T22:24:00.005-04:00

i just bought a backpack for me to use camping and in europe soon. i did a little bit of searching around, but i would never have known what i was really doing without these two dudes.

obviously, there are more occurrences than just this week, but i have been especially grateful for their knowledge and willingness to share it with me. thanks for being loving and thanks for being good brothers. love you both.

my art

2011-05-10T13:15:00.004-04:00

this has been a long time coming. here is some of my pottery. i have had a few requests in the past, and now it's here. this is the portfolio i used when i applied, and got in, to the BFA program. note: a few of these pieces are broken now. not all are still available.

saucer

cup with lines

square cup

raku cup

tea time in lacrosse (my piece that showed in the Mud Show 2010 - BYU Gallery 303)

segmented bowl

large serving bowl

skinny vase

square vase (two views)

asymetrical vase

bulbous vase

open vase

if you would like some of my work feel free to contact me, they are definitely for sale. i think i want to start working on commission soon too. keep in touch and let me know what you think. one day i'll have my own website for this kind of stuff.

what a turn around

2011-05-04T19:35:00.004-04:00

last night, this woman [as wonderful as she is] haunted my dreams.

i dreamed that there was a girl painter that needed space in our studio, and V here offered up my very own space! i sat and pouted for a little while. she said i should have been working harder since the semester ended and then all of a sudden my space was clear and i couldn't do anything about it. V noticed how i was feeling, and said, "i gotta go talk to Slacker over here," and came to talk to me. she asked if i had anything to say for my work from the semester. i said no, because i felt sheepish. anyway, i woke up in a virtual sweat. i was so uncomfortable.

roommate CA and i went to the spring salon show in springville, and that was nice. the day was okay. then i got a voicemale from a lady back in my hometown. guess who's going to LA stake girls camp twenty eleven? thats right. me. i'm makin' it work. i'll most likely be hiking with some 3rd or 4th years. who knows.

then at work i get the updated version of our calendar for england. did i mention i'm going to england? for 3 months? and i'm visiting ireland afterward? well i am.

anyway, i got this sudden wave of excitement for everything that's happening and will be happening in the future. it was especially great after the chat i had last night with roomie CA about some transition anxiety i have been feeling.

new house. new ward. new adventures.

i'm feeling so positive and so excited for everything that is coming. known and unknown. just feelin' good. had to share it.

also, feelin' great about these women being in my life.

the blog-o-sphere

2011-04-07T12:26:00.003-04:00

i have been out of touch for a while, not because of the 18 month sabbatical [btw, i have been home 8 months as of monday of this week], but because my school work has been taking over my life. i didn't check my email or facebook for 3 whole days. i came back and eventually got to my google reader. [ps- how are facebook and google not in the online dictionary? its 2011 people. get that squiggly red line out from under those words.] i found 15 new posts for me to read! i try to stay on top of my reader. i like knowing about people. but 15 seemed outrageous. anyway, among them were posts from friends and family. sibs and cousins and roommates and just friends. let this be my way of saying, thanks for your friendship. thanks for being part of my life, and thanks for sharing your photos and families with me. i like reading your blogs.

much love, guys. much love.

paralyzed

2011-03-28T16:11:00.001-04:00

whenever i have to write a paper... i get paralyzed.

i'll start feeling again tomorrow after 9:30 am. we'll see how it goes.

wish me luck.

untitled

2011-03-22T15:21:00.002-04:00

how do you fight this?

-"the leading cause of divorce is marriage"
-"intimacy breeds conflict"
-the fact that none of the conflict approaches sounded productive or really functional

all this coming from an article in marriage prep. conflict type and conflict resolution.
i may or may not be losing hope right now...

slice of heaven

2011-03-18T14:44:00.002-04:00

watched one of my favorite movies, keeping mum, last night. with 4 of my very favorite people. ever. so so favorite.

today, i'm making pistachio bread for a potluck at b-66 and listening to slow jazz and NPR. best day ever???

oh yeah, and later i'm going to big lots with hopefully two of those 4 favorites.

tentative plan

2011-03-08T14:56:00.003-05:00

this week i have been forming a tentative plan for my life. starting with this summer, because it seems like a great time of life. summer in provo, living with CA riding my bike(pics to come). autumn in London with john bennion and peter everett. winter back in provo to start art education. summer in alaska, so i can make bank and maybe pay off some loans. autumn again in provo to finish up art education. winter in india to do my student teaching and hang out with dani maybe? it didn't really become a plan until the india part became a possibility. but it sounds like an adventure to me. plus, i can really only handle provo so much at one time. it will have been a year by the end of the summer, and it will be time to GET OUT.
thoughts? improvements? suggestions?

why i love my major

2011-03-02T21:25:00.001-05:00

NO H-ING PAPERS.

recent inspiration

2011-02-23T10:50:00.005-05:00

last week i was sitting in a gallery for about 20 minutes just listening and experiencing. sometimes i think it is the single healthiest thing i could do for my mind, just sitting and pondering. i thought about the artist, the art, the idea, my ideas, my art, me as an artist. i felt so inspired to do something great. i don't know how or why i have discovered this love of mine, but its priceless to me. i feel like i have been searching for passion my whole life. i found a piece of it. i just wrote in my little red book and thought. about my past, and my future. my worth and its definition. i don't think i have been defined by that specific show, but the more art i see, the more defined i become. i am building a person of strength, courage, and diligence. i've got my faults like everyone else, but i'm re-learning to focus on my abilities.

in my own artwork, i have been working smaller. little entities of humans. they don't look like people at all, but when they interact with each other, you can tell there is a conversation. for another unknown reason, i have been intrigued and inspired by conversation and representing it and creating it. i'm trying to understand how people are perceived and how simple body movements change feeling in someone else. body language is more universal than any other and i think thats fascinating.

i have to make plans for more people watching, because i think that is the essence of what i'm trying to represent. a moment in the time two beings have together without the whole story. thats what i want to capture. and i LOVE this. i love what i do. i love being real. and i'm passionate about having passions.

here are some artists who inspire me:

jean claude and christo - wrapped trees

peter haakon thompson - www.the-a-project.org

sylvia ramachandran - i can't seem to find her site. but i had a wonderful studio visit with her.

jennifer lee - just beautiful pottery.

go. create conversation.

for everyone

2011-02-16T10:24:00.002-05:00

here's a beautiful video my friend whitney put on her blog. its a public service announcement. just, enjoy.

two kisses and a rose

2011-02-15T11:08:00.003-05:00

i just wanted to say that it was maybe my best [and maybe this is really saying something] valentine's day ever yesterday. i didn't have class, i did some homemaking things like cleaning my room, putting the ipod on shuffle, doing some dishes and folding laundry while i listened to npr. i got kissed on both sides of my face and i got a surprise rose from a neighbor. thank you kev, matthew and rob for making it a great day.

feb. 11

2011-02-11T11:27:00.001-05:00

this day in history:

i went into the MTC 2 years ago.

but more importantly, Cairo made its own history.

tired of a common feeling

2011-02-08T01:46:00.003-05:00

you know how you have those days where you just sort of feel worthless? i think i've been having too many of those. i really miss my bf lauren and its hard to feel like i have any friends as good as her. she always made me feel funny and smart and worth her time. i truly don't mean to be making a cry for help or pity or anything. i'm just tired of not saying how i feel.

at times i feel like i'm not allowed to feel bad or sad or insecure. like i just shouldn't talk about it if thats how i really feel. its probably just me thinking/feeling that way, but its real. i feel like, if what i'm feeling isn't happy and exciting, its not worth sharing. not worth bringing someone else down. but then i don't end up getting anything out, and i'm just mopey all the time, which i HATE. i don't like it when other people are mopey, and i seriously don't like being the mopey one. i miss having that person around who always validated me and always made me feel worth while. crying doesn't really make anything better. so really its just getting out and creating friendships that didn't exist before. i guess i should just be grateful for a friend like lauren. so, heres to you, lauren. and to my two other besties who moved away.

women i want to be like

2011-02-02T22:26:00.002-05:00

chris ramsey

anne gregorson

janell zulick

task avoiding

2011-02-02T22:07:00.003-05:00

gotta write a 7-8 page paper on my own strengths and weaknesses when it comes to relationships. what else would i do right now?

ps- picture found my googling "whats crazy". i. love. internets.

today

2011-01-27T14:48:00.002-05:00

facts of life:
-if honey vanilla chamomile tea were a man, i would marry him this afternoon.
-i like sleep better than hard work and stress.
-i forgot how great this album is.
-i feel like i'll always be catching up.

so nice, but so stressful

2011-01-26T20:16:00.002-05:00

so, i'm volunteering at the sundance film fest this week. and i gotta say, it has its perks. down vest, timberland gloves, nalgene water bottle, new friends and tons of great flicks to see. today i watched both screenings i was there for. the first one was nice. low budget, but great. i sat in the theater with friend evan. it was a nice surprise. the second one was actually really good. but i just watched it from the projection room.

so the stress is this: i love being at sundance. its a great atmosphere. but it is SO stressful to try to get all my homework, work and studio time in when i'm volunteering this many hours. how do people do it? anyway. 6 page paper here i come.

worth it

2011-01-21T10:30:00.001-05:00

just saw a grown man walk into and promptly out of the women's bathroom. waking up early to get to work at 8 so i can be gone all day teaching and get back and have to study more? worth it.

positivity

2011-01-11T22:38:00.004-05:00

i have goals - for the year, but mostly for the semester:

-make new friends because my best of best friends lives eternally far away

-make real artwork

-get all homework, applications and busywork done when it needs to be

i have mondays and fridays off. therefore i should be getting dumb things like laundry and groceries done on those days. also,they don't take very long, so i should be able to accomplish other things. like going into the studio to work on glazing and firing and all that jazz. i still feel pretty hopeful for the semester. other than the fact that i would really love to love someone and the opportunity has not yet presented itself. that is all.

happenings

2011-01-07T11:21:00.003-05:00

i had to look up adventure in the thesaurus because i feel like 3 out of 5 posts are titled as such. but some of you may have noticed on fb that i applied to a study abroad program. we're going to this place...

thats the london skyline. yep. and maybe we'll visit this place too for a week.

that would be France. and then this place too.

shyeah. thats scotland. this would be fall 2011. i knew this was going to be a great year.

its been a while

2011-01-05T13:35:00.002-05:00

so, the new semester has begun. here's the line-up:

human development (req for art ed)

marriage prep

studio 480

teachings of joseph smith

art major lecture series

special problems (aka-set goals with von and make them happen)

i only go to school 3 days a week. it. is. great.

work however has gotten into all my days. so whatever.

i feel really great about the new year, about becoming a true adult, hitting 23, and about the semester. my optimism should stick around, i think.

happy new year to you all.

wise

2010-12-17T18:37:00.001-05:00

greatest advice from dove i've ever gotten.

"go confidently in the direction of your dreams."

rude awakening

2010-12-17T12:46:00.003-05:00

this morning i got a text from my friend B. "sad- the provo tabernacle burned down"
yeah. check it out here.
i feel rather connected to provo now that i know i'll live here for the next 2 years, at minimum. but i did quite a few things there and i loved that building. it was the oldest, and only pretty building in this town. they say they might not be able to save it. it might have to get demolished. the damage is pretty bad. i don't know how to feel right now.

belated birthday of a best friend.

2010-12-10T18:14:00.003-05:00

my dearie melia had her birthday this week. now a mother of one. and a great friend to have. she's got my back. sorry its such an old picture, but i didn't get one with her in august. mer, you is my boo. ain't no doubt. happy belated birthday.

i did it

2010-12-04T16:14:00.003-05:00

find my new blog here.

just enjoy.

i feel adventurous.

ps- this one will still be going. i just have two now.

me: the entrepeneur

2010-12-03T18:39:00.004-05:00

i think i'm going to start a second blog. dedicated to the great finds on the interwebs. i downloaded this cool program and its taken me to wild places. i'll let you know when its up.

what i found in an images google search: adventure. gotta love llamas.

the one. the only.

2010-11-19T18:34:00.003-05:00

birthdays are a wonderful thing. today is brittney's. i love her dearly for many reasons.

-i laugh with her, hard.

-she doesn't judge me

-she and i can be besties whenever wherever

-she watches 30 rock with me in the hbll

-she is one of the strongest women i know

-high society

-sytycd

-she has no reservations about being honest and upfront. she is real.

teach a girl to import, she'll import forever. don't teach a girl to import, she'll import fornever.

happy birthday, b-ritt. i love you foralways.

for alicia really

2010-11-18T15:10:00.004-05:00

so, i went to new york city for 5 days to see museums. it was the most amazing experience ever. i love that city. i could live there. but, my bestie CA was there because of cheap airfare from jetblue. and then besties W and L went to seattle to visit an old friend. we decided to be inspired by mutual friend alicia. we took a special kind of tourist photo everywhere we went...

like the brooklyn museum.

or the metropolitan museum of art.

more specifically the temple of dendur. can you see me?

central park. famous fountain.

just across from said fountain. i liked the arches.

this was maybe the grossest one. but still. not so gross. at least it wasn't the platform.

i'm not doing it in this one. but this is the cloisters up in washington heights. seriously great location.

my favorite.
it was a great great trip. i got to see cam and kate who i haven't seen in ages. and i saw johnny depp on the street. i would go back in a heartbeat. many thanks, big apple. i needed a good vacation.

working in a library

2010-11-16T18:47:00.002-05:00

first: i saw a couple walking hand in hand. they hadn't even passed the desk yet when they turned and kissed. just a peck. then they separated to go.... get this- to the BATHROOM! you seriously need to kiss before that happens? you're meeting back up in no more than 10 minutes!

second: most of what i do is menial, i feel. its a great job. but it gets a wee bit monotonous. but, today, a girl came up and just wanted to know how to find a book. i showed her what she needed to do and she said, "thanks so much. you're really good at this." felt nice. also, thanks to the dude who watched me search his book and decided, no, you don't need to find all my books for me. you showed me how, i think i got this. you rock, whoever you are. you're my kind of people.

third: not everyone knows this, but i adore japanese game shows. they are the best.

why could i see this happening on the 5th floor???

dear life,

2010-11-01T19:43:00.004-04:00

a few things...

i don't like how you organized my weather textbook. i wish the figures you were talking about were on the same page i was on.

midterms? really? whose idea was that? and late fees... seriously?

why did you make artists so nit-picky? being in a room with 17 of them, all out for their own artwork trying to make it look good... i didn't like that. i wouldn't expect anyone to.

falling behind in homework, i know that was me, but it still blows.

at least you give me little glimpses of great things like these...

even though i feel like i'm failing at you. i'm hopeful for a better next week. when i get to go here.

love,
mads

just good tunes

2010-10-28T11:49:00.002-04:00

i've been appreciating some great music lately. thought i would share. animal is a classic and i love love it. and the saloon version is great.

and this is a great artist. the piano going crazy makes my body hurt a little. but i think its a great video.

enjoy.

in homage to clay

2010-10-27T22:36:00.005-04:00

i must have really missed something while i was in nj. but i'm glad i did. men and their puppies? where did this come from? i wouldn't suggest a google search. you get some weird ones. but here are a few.

new favorite thing

2010-10-15T21:30:00.002-04:00

food gawker. the only thing i'm not really diggin' right now is that everything has pumpkin in it(which, in reality, is not that bad) and its mostly sweet stuff. but i've really loved what i've seen so far. also, google chrome. its great. use it at work.

wasn't gonna do it. but i did.

2010-09-24T19:49:00.001-04:00

i googled "clay" to find pictures of mud and stuff to put on the background of my blog. this is what i found.

new friend D, "is that a bat??"

HA!

desperate for identity

2010-09-24T18:29:00.001-04:00

i need a new blog name. and subtitle preferably. suggestions???

i look up to...

2010-09-24T12:18:00.002-04:00

vela.wsb
the chronicles of laurnia.
the so-called blog.

i'm really not that far into the blogging world as of yet. but there are some bloggers i know personally that i think are great. as people, and as bloggers. i'm hoping i can make my blog become as artsy and self-expressing as i want it to be. i'm on my way, but i ain't there yet.
ps- found a great artist online this week. check out this brazilian babe.

winding up

2010-09-23T16:33:00.002-04:00

this weekend i have two tests. one in weather, one in Book of Mormon. next week its spanish. homework is starting to catch up with me, maybe. all i want to do is be social. its obviously not the only thing i actually do, but i feel like i am actually maybe achieving the "balanced life" every rm yearns for. i feel like i'm getting enough sleep, i am SO on top of my reading for weather and art criticism, i'm actually pumping out some pretty great art in my studio, making new friends and meeting up with the old ones. one of the things that needs some work is the food. i gotta get eating right. anyway, i am doing lots of things. but i'm actually doing them and not pretending like i'm so busy but really just wallowing in the stress. it feels great, to be honest.

ps- these are coming my way as i type. yesh.

who am i even?

2010-09-20T14:27:00.002-04:00

this weekend was great. birthday party for roommates L and CA on thursday. over 70 in attendance. a little nutsy, but fun. friday night was the benefit concert at velour. i have a new found love for archer's apple. great local band. saturday had a mini reunion with old bestie S and dropped off junk at DI. babysat with roommate L for her niece and nephews. i had a great little conversation with baby I.

I: do you have a boyfriend?
me: nope. i don't have a boyfriend.
I: oh...
me: do you want to be my boyfriend?
I: NO!
me: why not??
I: i'm too young!
me: so, when you're older, do you want to be my boyfriend?
I: NO! you'll be a grandma by then!

oh really. ha. it made me laugh.

sunday was a great day. i really recieved some important revelation during sacrament meeting. we split our relief societies and i had a meeting with my co-chair and we have some great plans. slept on the boy's love-sac. thank you K, B, and C. went to the fireside and ward prayer. and got to see old roomie K. twas a great couple days.

new adventures

2010-09-15T10:44:00.003-04:00

yesterday had 2 almost 3 new adventures. first, dinner group. this is the half-adventure. just trying it out to see what the plan is. i think roommate W and i are going to tag-team it. it will be fun. second, ebay. i'm bidding on a pair of birkenstocks that i'm sort of excited about. they close friday. i could have them by next week even! third, i biffed it big time last night. my new friend G came over with his mega long longboard and i went out to learn how. the learning was great. i feel like i got the hang of it. then he asked me to go down the ramp into the liberty square parking lot. i lasted about 12 feet before i hit my left knee, left palm, right wrist, right elbow and most of my knuckles on my right hand. yes they all still sting. and i can't figure out what to where today so that i don't irritate my wounds.

hilarious... and true.

2010-09-09T01:25:00.001-04:00

life explained.

studio space

2010-09-08T21:29:00.002-04:00

i got my very first, very own studio space. i lurve it. i bought the clay i want and i got to start building today. also, we talked about where we want to be in the art world today in art criticism. and i decided, if i could, i would BE greg caldwell. i would just love to have a day job and family, and have a studio and make my art when i want to. need i more?

2010-09-05T18:06:00.002-04:00

aunt B did us a favor and stopped to see us on her way to san fran. we got to see our little cousin H. and by we i mean, me and bro D.

we were naming parts of the face. we got carried away with the nose, i guess.

love this little girl. she is SO supposed to be a part of our family.

first week

2010-09-03T21:09:00.002-04:00

check. we've got one down. i feel pretty good. everyone is sad that summer is over, but i just feel grateful that i have something to do. busy is important. i'm enjoying it. so, i work tomorrow and the moab trip is on, but i will not be going. i've got things to do, people!

cousin

2010-08-26T23:54:00.002-04:00

sweet cousin M. he is adorable. his mom asked him if he wanted me to tickle his back and he said "no". i started playing with his hair and he fell right asleep. what a sweet boy.
ps- i've been staying with my aunt and uncle this week and it has been great. i owe them. i get to be in the place where i go to school, but i don't have to be there every day and i can get the things done that i need to. tomorrow its off to p-town and back to reality. its been strange adjusting to real life, but their family has made my time here wonderful. thanks be to the heavens for good family.

the tah

2010-08-21T17:44:00.002-04:00

i'm officially in utah again. currently in orem and hanging out with cousin D. birthday party tonight. saw some good friends yesterday. my old bestie B came to visit me in orem and it felt so nice to just catch up. i didn't get enough of her. i find out about the job i interviewed for on monday or tuesday. i could use some prayers.

weekend in the northwest

2010-08-17T14:15:00.002-04:00

i'm a little prideful of the fact that i was able to spend quality time with so many people this weekend. started off with a mission bud reunion in tigard,OR and then moved to a wedding and bestie freshman bud day in beaverton,OR. i got to see aunties R, A and S on my dad's side and cousin K and her 3 boys. so much fun. i even got to spend some time on the party barge(pics on their way). but the best part of my weekend...

was this genius invention. thank you jet spa.

re-vamp

2010-08-10T20:55:00.002-04:00

it was time. i feel that the bike in the background is a real symbol of my solo take on life at the moment and also my love of outdoor activities. not the rigorous ones. the relaxing ones. anyway. i love the colors and i love the setup. roommate L and i have made a goal to blog more often. we'll see how that goes. my life isn't super interesting, but it might be entertaining. vamos a ver!

brain and eyes

2010-08-09T03:13:00.002-04:00

they both hurt. but my blog is officially un-private. welcome back world. welcome back drama! bring it on, i say! BRING IT ON!

going private

2009-07-01T20:50:00.001-04:00

Madeline has requested that we make this blog private. If you want to continue reading, please leave a comment with your email and I will add you to the reader's list. Thanks!

Katie

quote of the week: "innie-turning-to-outie!"

2009-07-01T20:31:00.000-04:00

thats right. sister porath quoted the simpsons at our dinner appointment on sunday. we had chicken enchiladas at the robersons. we were all so so so full and couldn't move. she was on one that afternoon and thats what she said. the elders were there too. it was ridiculous, and i'm still laughing about it.

so, this week has been the kind where you plan everything out, and every single one of those plans falls through and you just have to make things up as you go. its been interesting. but things are good. we had an exchange with the sisters up in toms river. let me just tell you how sketchy the living situation is up there. there is one door with two numbers on it. you open it, and there is a set of stairs with a door at the top, and a door just to your left. the spanish elders live in the door to the left, and the english sisters live in the door up the stairs... you do the math... BUT! the exchange was good. i had some great experiences with one of sister porath's old companions.

transfers are next week. we will be getting phone calls this weekend about who goes where and what not. we both really really want to stay. we've told president. and he said he can't keep all of his good eggs in one basket... we are afraid something drastic will happen. like one of us leaving. i really don't want to leave. i can't imagine not working here. if i do leave, it will be tough, but good too.

now, i don't really remember what i said in that letter to alexa... but i know i was encouraging her to love the mtc. cus its an amazing place. other than that i have no clue.
ummm, things are good. OH! i went shopping last week and got 5 shirts at kohls! awesome. lowest prices of the season. what a bargain. and now i have clothes!!! summer time clothes at least, i'm not worried in the least about winter. and it will be coming up surprisingly fast. when you measure in transfers, nothing seems long. seriously. cus i've already been here for 3. and that just seems preposterous. the time really and truly does fly.
people need to email me more and tell me what the heck is going on in their lives. i know abby is working as a lifeguard, and most everyone else is in the market. i hope everything goes well with the searches! i'll keep praying for your success. also, enjoy your time at the swamp. thats coming up right? i hate to say it, but i look forward to the day i can lie in that hammock and read my books and get eaten alive by deer flies. the weather here is surprisingly similar to northern woods, and when we tract we wear mass amounts of bug spray, so i just get taken back to the old days at trout lake. its nostalgia at every door. haha. i really do love it here. i can't wait until you all get to see this place and meet the incredible people here.
i love you all! i'm assuming all is well! keep praying for missionary opportunities!!!

love love love love love
sis m

quote of the week: "DRUGS!"

2009-06-24T15:18:00.000-04:00

good ol' sister porath didn't know about the tennis shoes on the telephone wire thing and when we told her that meant there was a drug dealer nearby, we kept our eyes out for the several pairs hanging in our area. we were driving to little egg the other day and there is a pair right over route 9. she points her finger straight in the air, and with a great big grin on her face says, "DRUGS!" its was classic.

this week has been really really great. we have 3 new investigators. they are amazing. and quite a few potentials. when we tract, we always meet people that want us to stop back, and after we do that a few times they either send us away, or let us in. its been pretty effective.

we had an exchange with the sisters serving in cape may this week. cape may was nice, sister porath went there and one of the sisters stayed with me. she had already served in this branch and all she wanted to do was stop by people she knew. but we had work to do, and i was very glad that i got to go back to my dear sister porath. i love her. i honestly could go another transfer here and with her. we want to. but four transfers is a little outrageous. but transfers aren't for another 2 weeks. lets not get ahead of ourselves. back to the exchange, there was much to be discussed about the exchange, and sister porath and i had a solid hour drive back to our area, so we kinda got right into it. we lost track of where we were, and ended up in toms river. its only the next ward north of us, but still, it took us probably an extra hour to get home... a little embarassing, but probably necessary. it had been an eventful day.

lets see... things are good here. OH! i have to appologize apparently. several people have mentioned my comment about the "man's club" thing. listen, a mission is totally different for sisters. TOTALLY! we don't get to have as many "mission buddies" as the elders. and it was a comment in the heat of the moment. at that time i emailed right after zone conference. so, enough about that. get over it.

i don't have many letters to write this week. but i got a great letter form grandpa owie [thatcher- for all you non-family members]. the beginnings of the little moss lake chronicles. he is such a great writer. and to be honest, i'm a little sad to be missing the action. i do love the northern woods, and i'll miss the vacay, even if it does take place at a swamp. i also got a letter from grandma. haha, i sure hope everyone is aware of the fox living in her backyard. hahaha, apparently it hunts under the window sills for birds that "commit suicide" by flying into the windows, even if grandma has a black hawk taped up on the window to scare them away... it was an entertaining letter.

i love you all so very much. thank you for your support and love. i hope to hear from you soon. thank you for the journal and the COOKIES! what a joy. very simple pleasures in missionary life.
keep praying for missionary opportunities!
love love love love love
sis m

can't think of anything funny to say

2009-06-18T16:42:00.000-04:00

this week wasn't too eventful. we taught a part member family on sunday. he is a returned missionary from blanding, ut. he served in finland. she grew up in brooklyn and they have 4 beautiful kids. pretty much the most beautiful kids ever. we are hoping to teach them all. should be good.

we had 3 less actives at church on sunday. hallelujah chorus. 2 of them stayed all 3 hours. it was a miracle.

ummmm.... lets see, we had dinner with another less active couple named the Wiggins. they are so entertaining. brother wiggins, "wiggy" was in the military and was all of the place growing up and just says, "you'd be surprised the things i did..." and won't say anything past that. he is almost fullblood native american. his name used to be raincloud but changed it to john. why- i have no idea... sister wiggins, adele, is the funniest lady. in the middle of a conversation she will just burst out in some funny sing songy type sound. it makes you smile.

really truly... we don't have too much going on. lots of tracting and finding. we've got our work cut out for us but things are going well. we had interviews again this week. it seems crazy that we had them already. time stinkin files.

all is well on the missionary front! i love you all so so much! let me know if there is anything i can do for you! keep praying for missionary opportunities!

love love love love love
sis m

helping people?!?!

2009-06-11T09:53:00.000-04:00

okay, funniest door response ever...
we were tracting, and Sister porath introduced us as missionaries hoping to do some service, this lady is smiling dumbly and says," nnyah i don't believe in that..." again, goofy smile. sister porath replies, "helping people??!?!" with the most surprise i've ever heard in her voice and the lady says, "right." as she closes the door. i think it hit her a few seconds after we left what a fool she made herself look like by not listening to us. in this life and the next. it was entertaining. but sad at the same time.

anyway! life is good. the work is going. we have been activating this woman named December Robinson. She's great. she came to book club and the lunch bunch. stafford is very social oriented. and she told us she'd come to church. she grew up in the branch, and people will recognize her, so that will be good. she is super sassy and i think she and mom would get along well. she used to sell pampered chef too! she's into cooking and kitchen gadgets, so you know they'll get along.

zone conference yesterday was the best one i've been to. so amazingly uplifting. there was the doctor that covers our mission there and he went to stanford so he knows where my home is. that was a cool connection. but his wife came up and talked to me after. i bore my testimony at the end and i had sung a musical number with two other sisters that went pretty well. she asked me how long i had been out and was surprised to hear how short it had been. it was pretty flattering. but i was very surprised to calculate in my head and say, "almost four months'!!!! what the what? that is ridiculous! i still have a year and a half left! but i don't. i'm running out of time.

actually, i think the time that i have been a missionary i have felt better about myself than ever before. Heavenly Father is blessing me so much. I'm hoping to lose weight and inches, but if i don't i know that I will be blessed later if i don't have the time to think about it now.

sister porath and i were at the Rasmussens house on monday for dinner and michelle gave each of us a little gifty. a very heartfelt card and she gave us each a necklace. i'm wearing it right now. its been hard for her moving from idaho to jersey and i think the both of us helped her out a lot. i love her so much and i'm hoping we'll keep in touch for a long time. my necklace has hearts and doodles on the front and on the back it says "dear friends are always close to the heart" she told me she would be proud to have a daughter like me and it almost made me cry. it was quite the little pick-me up after a long day of work.

side note: a mission is such a different experience for sisters than elders. its just a little mans club with sisters doing all the work. thats what i felt like yesterday anyway. elders do great work, and the work couldn't go on without them... but some of them take this opportunity for granted. and i don't like that. they are all just trying to be goofy and silly and spiritual and sometimes its hard to balance, i guess.

ummmm, what else. pray for betsy and her children, that we will be able to see them and teach them. they need the gospel. also pray for howard farkas to see the need for baptism, and pray for the woman living on midship that we have seen twice. we need to teach her. we don't know her name.
i love you all so much! keep praying for missionary opportunities!
love love love love love
sis m